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For Kinni Sandhar and So Many Other Beautifully Brave Women

Updated: Jan 19, 2021

I had an experience last week that I don't want to talk about too much here. This world can be a crazy place, especially if you live in BC right now, and are looking up at the apocalyptical smoky skies. Because of that, I want this website to be a happy place for everyone to come to and enjoy art, including myself. I will say that last week I feared for my life and that the law enforcement in my community has thus far not made me feel like they really have my back. Other than that I would like to get back to spreading the kind of love that I believe might change things for the better.

I am so far from being the only person who suffers under the oppression of the patriarchal system. I know so many wonderful men, but I also know so many men that are incredibly lost and unsure of how to use their masculinity in a positive way due to the mixed messages about gender and relationships that we all receive from all sides on a daily basis. One of the people I love most in the world has even implied that I was 'asking for it'. I know this is only because they are so angry and scared for me because they love me so much, but that doesn't make it hurt less. I know that there is an element of truth in what they are saying, but as I said to someone in my community, I also know how unfair that truth is, as I have walked with it for far too long, as far too many other women have.

I am going to try and see that my community becomes a little safer and try to make sure that no one else here ever feels that way. I also know of another brave sister who is fighting this on another level in her hometown. Kinni Sandhar ((7) Kinni Sandhar | Facebook) is a friend of mine in Edmonton who is working to change the laws and viewpoints regarding a woman's right to bare her breasts in public and not feel like a mouse in a room full of cats. She has been working really hard and taking a lot of horrible verbal and online abuse for her efforts. Like me, I'm sure she is exhausted and I wanted to add a little light to her life, so I wrote her a poem. In light of my own recent experience (which is, unfortunately, one of many similar situations I have faced in my life) I also felt I needed to post this, and I had an idea. I have given away a lot of what I've made so far from my work (when I get paid, remember I am a lowly poet-lol) and I can't keep doing that if I want to make a living at this stuff. I am however willing to donate half of the proceeds of this poem to Kinni Sandhar so she can donate it to a women's charity of her choice or use it to continue to free the nipple!! I will put my email address at the bottom of this poem, and if you like it you can pm me and we can discuss where I can send you your copy, and a password for your e-transfer.

I wanted to do this so that I can try to heal and rest, and send some healing to one of my very brave sisters. Please share this with anyone and everyone to increase awareness and support. We can change things if we come together in love and work towards positive goals. Here is the poem:

For Kinni Sandhar and So Many Other Beautifully Brave Women

In the words of Jessica Rabbit:

“I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way.” I think that even my father could see how my outer beauty would be the bane of my existence. Unlike most men he wrapped it around all of the other things that made me beautiful and cherished them all together.

But the world taught me to cover up. To hide behind fake wedding rings, or baggy sweatshirts that made a poor shield against the arrows of ogling eyes and the words that cut into my soul and made me question the worth of my self.

I want to love my long legs. I want to enjoy the curve of my calf as much as any man does. I want to bare my breasts whenever and wherever I am comfortable sharing them. I want to know that no means no, and that I know how to fit into my own skin the way I want to way before I learn how to fit into the arms of a man.

The hand of patriarchy keeps trying to push women down; to grind us into the dirt and sometimes make us disappear altogether. But they didn't see as they were pushing us into the soil that we women were seeds, and by the goddess we would all bloom beautifully, with or without the help of our fellow man.

August 14th, 2018 

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